The First Rule
by Acerbitas
Summary: Vaan needs to learn the first rule of sky pirating. BalthierxVaan


**The First Rule**

Balthier tried to be patient, he really did. The boy was incredibly stupid, and incredibly cute in his stupidity, but there was only so much cute stupidity that Balthier could stand. Soft touches on the shoulder, sly winks in the corridors of the ship, gentle teasing at silly things…they all went unnoticed. And so Balthier hung around at opportune times, trying to figure out if Vaan really liked Penelo. Maybe, hopefully, Vaan was stupid about that relationship too.

There was a bit of jealously, no, more a grumpiness, that bothered Balthier on occasion. Nothing that made him lose his sleep, of course, but good God, Vaan got so animate when Penelo was around. It was cute, but Balthier wanted that cute fluffiness for himself. Preferably alone. Preferably naked.

His airship was the key to many things. Gold, girls, wild times, and right now, what he wanted. He could win his target with awe. Kids like Vaan would want to have sex with people they respected, right? Right?

Balthier hoped he was right, but not too right, because he didn't want a long, drawn out affair of love and loss. No, that meant he had to put in effort and time. In all honesty, he was just looking for some admiration and sex. It wasn't too much to ask for!

If he really wanted sex that badly though, he could inform Fran and they'd get about it. If he wanted admiration, he could walk into a bar and let it slip he was a sky pirate. He secretly had admitted to himself he wanted something more. Whatever he really wanted, it involved Vaan, specifically Vaan with little or no clothing on. That was enough to go by, at least in Balthier's point of view.

"So you really want to be a sky pirate, huh?" Balthier leaned over Vaan's seat in the captain's chair, feeling a strong desire to run his hand down the other man's chest. He intelligently refrained.

Vaan was biting the back of his thumb with rabid interest, gazing blank-eyed at the screen in front of him. His legs were spread wide and casual, and his feet were dancing up and down. Balthier glanced at Vaan's near-naked torso again, and then let out a small sigh of discontent.

"Hey." Balthier clapped the lad on his shoulder, which made him jump up in his chair.

"What?" Vaan snapped in his excitable way, jerking his shoulder away from Balthier's hand. "I wasn't touching anything, I swear!" He slouched up, hands in his pockets, and inched away from the controls of the airship. "I was just looking." His voice held a small note of discontent.

"I know. I was more alert than you were." Balthier held his arms out and examined his cuffs with great interest. "I asked if you really wanted to be a sky pirate and you ignored me. How very rude." They needed to be fixed a little.

"I didn't hear you." Vaan crossed his arms and meandered towards the door. He milled around at the entrance for awhile, glancing at the other man in a sheepish way before settling himself on a nearby ledge.

The cuffs were settled within a matter of seconds, and Balthier shook his sleeves out reflexively. "I was just kidding. Calm down." He shot Vaan a smirk and a wink. "Don't get all excited now."

"Well, I couldn't tell." The boy's suspicious eyes peeked at him from behind overlong bangs.

Balthier ambled towards Vaan and settled himself beside him. The seating was very uncomfortable, but Balthier wasn't going to complain about the arrangement. He watched Vaan's fingers wind around each other in curious ways. "You can't tell about a lot of things."

Vaan either looked horrified or terrified, but Balthier couldn't tell which one. He decided on terrified, because that was slightly less discouraging than the former. People could be terrified for many reasons, and Balthier hoped that Vaan's reason was in his favor.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The look flipped to a motley irritation; the fingers stopped spinning. Vaan bit down on his lip with such force that Balthier wondered if he'd start bleeding.

"Nothing, nothing." In an attempt to calm this irrational fear Balthier leaned back and settled his head against the cold metal. "So, do you?" A relaxed position. A, "I'm not going to bite you," position.

Vaan watched his every move like a cornered rabbit. "What?"

"Want to be a sky pirate?" He let the last two words roll out of his mouth, long and dramatic. The ceiling was a bit decrepit. Maybe he should get around to cleaning the ship up. Or maybe he could tell Vaan that cleaning the ship would earn him sky pirate points.

"Of course!" The kid actually looked offended, like he'd just heard somebody insult his grandmother. Well, Balthier certainly didn't mean to offend.

"Why? Is it really all the glamour and glory that you thought it was going to be?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so." Vaan shrugged like he hadn't really thought about it all that much, and Balthier found himself wondering what he really _did_ actually think about.

Mouth twisting into something that sort of resembled a grimace, Balthier flicked his head to the right with agitation. "Half the time you're running away from a bunch of baggage that keeps trying to follow you around. It's really…not so swell."

Vaan didn't say anything, not for a long time. Finally he looked into Balthier's eyes and stuttered, "How can you tell if a girl likes you? I mean, 'cause, I bet lotsa girls like you." Down that head went, quick as could be. His heels bounced against the floor.

Well that wasn't a wonderful question, now was it? "In most normal circumstances, you follow three steps. First, you go up to her, then, you open your mouth, not for too long, mind you, and then you ask her. It's really a very simple procedure. Come now, try it on me." The sky pirate leaned his head against the nearby wall and imitated Vaan's leg movements.

Wrinkling his brow, Vaan tossed his companion a look of annoyance. "I mean besides that." The heels clunked onto the floor and were silent.

"Why? Do you like Penelo?" Oh great, he wasn't the sexy, badass pirate anymore, he was the mentor. He did not want to be a mentor to anybody, especially somebody he wanted to fuck. "Because then, yes, I think—" He didn't understand why any sane person would take him for any type of guide. Maybe back when he was waltzing around in a giant suit of armor, but not now, that was for sure.

"—No!" Vaan's eyes widened with astonishment, like he'd never thought of the idea before in his life. "She's a friend." Teeth closing over his lips again, the boy scratched the back of his head with a sudden ferocity.

Well that was a relief, at least. "Then, out of mere curiosity, who is it?" If it was Fran, he was going to have a hard time trying not to laugh. He could just see the look on Fran's face as a blushing Vaan mumbled out a confession.

"Nobody. I was just asking." Vaan shrugged again and rubbed his nose with a grimy index finger. "You know." His gaze wandered over towards the door like he was trying to plan a smooth escape.

"No, I don't know," Balthier said pleasantly, allowing himself the whisper of a grin.

Vaan's mouth slackened, and his eyes took the look of a wounded puppy. "Well…well you should!" he managed without much grace. Two thumbs fought each other, tense and desperate.

"Should I now?" Balthier's grin was growing wider with every word the kid managed to stutter out.

"I—yes—" The boy blinked a few times, puzzlement etched in his furrowed brows. "I mean—" One thumb scratched the other with vicious intent.

Balthier caught Vaan's chin and locked him in a suave kiss, enjoying the taste of the baffled young man's lips. Gently taking Vaan's arm, he repeated the action with more care, easing his tongue through parted teeth and exploring the boy's mouth. For a moment, Vaan surrendered, reacting to the urges of the other's tongue. For a moment, everything was going great.

Then Vaan leapt up and backed away towards, wide eyes glowing with something that Balthier couldn't quite read. "What—what was that?!" He flung his hands up in the air, but, unable to find anything to do with them, he let them linger before moving them awkwardly back to his sides.

Pressing his lips together with frustration, Balthier allowed himself a small eye-roll. "Most people use the term 'kiss.'" Oh, the great maturity.

"Is that so? Is that so?" Vaan eased himself up to a new height, attempting to look righteously angry and failing. "Well, well you—! Umm…I dunno…"

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but you looked like you wanted it."

"I did not! I mean…maybe. No, I mean, I guess so." His balled hands uncurled slowly, and he glanced away towards a far corner of the floor. "You must think I'm really stupid."

Yes, rather. Letting out a long sigh, Balthier ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Good God, if you want it, you take it. That's the first rule of being a sky pirate. None of this, 'Well, maybe I want it.' No, you want it, and you're going to get it. The end." Lips forming into a bold smirk, Balthier extended several graceful, ringed fingers towards the younger man.

"So, do you want it?"


End file.
